Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since millennium. Affairs can be fraught with problems, cause sorrow, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, finances, age dissimilarity, religious upbringing, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married dating.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I think mainly though it is only the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to switch the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your family or anybody else? You will need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, huge really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, usually the husband is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair